remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sex in a hospital.. check
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They have beer where we have blood.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
