mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
