I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
