I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
