some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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