so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
