where am i from again
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
