winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
