her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
