So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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