we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
