I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
