I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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