I'm really into asian looking animals
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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