today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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