she kept yelling 'call me bella'
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
