you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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