i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
