How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
