he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
