There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
