Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
