I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Edward fifth and chaser hands
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize