you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
