Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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