She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
