he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I need to calm my uterus...
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