Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
