heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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