Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My liver just had a heart attack.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
