And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
