Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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