K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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