I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
