My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
