He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
