I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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