Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
