just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
