I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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