just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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