Swine flu. Run for my life!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
zippers are such a cool invention
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
