Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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