Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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