Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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