so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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