Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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