You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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