I puked a lego.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
