What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
