awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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