I puked a lego.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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