I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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