some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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