Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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