I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
