We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
